How Neoliberal Confusing Are You?

Nicholas Kristof of The Times posed two nonpolitical questions to tell whether you are liberal or conservative.

#1. Would you be willing to slap your father in the face, with his permission, as part of a comedy skit?
#2. Does it disgust you to touch the faucet in a public restroom?

Conservatives would tend to say no and yes respectively, and liberals the otherwise. My answer is no and no. So what am I? Neoliberal?

But wait a sec, are we talking the same liberals here? Unlike in Indonesia, in the US, liberals turns out to be the ones on the left.

Boy, this is confusing. Give my summer break --and jalapeño ice cream-- back.